Saturday, 29 June 2013

Wrong Kind of Thirsty.

So I came across this really awkward but extremely funny story that happened years ago.

About a man who on one of those days when men tend to feel extremely falsely fly, decided that he'd join one of those sites where people enter to meet other people, of opposite sex, in order to eventually have coitus - a word by far milder than it's 3-lettered cousin.

So anyway he joined the dating site, advertised himself and what he needed - we all know what that is, so it's no point trying to explain, besides, this isn't He later got replied by 5 different women, each of which he planned a seperate rendezvous day with - talk about 'falling' into some luck?? No??

Wait.. I kinda forgot an extremely important part of the story - the said man was a married man - in other words, his wife became insufficient or inadequate for his new found lustful desires.

Unfortunately for him, lucky for the wife, she found out his seeming perfectly clandestine plan and then she made a call to the women her husband had planned to meet up with, and we all know what happens when women come together to make a man's life miserable, right? If you don't know, well, allow me to prescribe to you a movie - John Tucker Must Die - Men, watch that and learn why you shouldn't mess with women. Women, watch that and learn what to do when a man messes with you. Lol. Pardon my digression.

So one of the women from the dating site called the man and asked him to meet her up at some motel or something, he was probably thinking Christmas came early. He got there, made himself comfortable, he had probably taken off any trace of civilization he had on and was already beginning to imagine things. But then, trouble reared it's... or in this case, 'her' ugly head in the form of another one of the women from the same dating site. I don't know how best to explain what happened next, so I'm just going to skip that part.

Minutes or hours later, the man was in a hospital, precisely the surgery room trying to seperate his man-part from his stomach. Apparently, the women, stealthy as they were, had glued the man's penis to his stomach, how cruel. I don't even want to imagine what it felt like.
Well, maybe he deserved it. This is a true story though, I wonder if the man still has the scars, so that anytime he takes a bath he remembers when his penis was glued to his stomach, because he was thirsty, the wrong kind of thirsty.

Till next time,, Keep dreaming!!

1 comment:

Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly said...

Excuse me, but I think this is incredibly hilarious. And seriously, he totally deserved everything. Did his wife dump him in the end? I hope so!! Just imagine what he had planned. He didn't know any of the women, so he could have come back to his wife with all sorts of nasties, apart from just being a total dick.

Have a great rest of the weekend!