Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Why Must I get Married??

Day 22 "Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel. (a pet peeve, a current event, a controversial topic, something your husband or roommate or neighbor or boss does that really
ticks you off)"

Okay, I'm gonna pick on a controversial topic - Marriage.
"Saw a wedding in the church; and strange to see what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition" - Samuel Pepys

Quick caveat: I'm by no means a marriage counsellor or nothing like that, I just feel society is to blame for failed marriages, and I'm gonna prove it. Just read on.

Now I have a friend, she's 22, her mind is set on marriage, it's all she thinks about. She's desperate to get a husband simply because her friends are now married.

People get married these days, a lot. As a matter of fact, every single weekend, tons and tons of couples walk down the isle, but how many of them are actually doing it for the right reason?? People get married because it's what society expects, it's what the 'system' says.

Should we get married because we are old enough? Should we get married because our best friend is now heavily pregnant, expecting her first child? Should we get married because we can afford to feed a few more mouth with our wealth?

Is there still a need to consider our mental readiness for the journey that will last the rest of our lives or is it just irrelevant?

Is there a reason why divorce rate has skyrocketed in recent times? Marriages especially in the west now has a 1 in 2 chance of survival, i.e, 50/50. 2 out of every 6 individuals are likely to go through 2 failed marriages in their lifetime. That is really scary, but it almost never happens around here, in these parts, it's suffering and smiling, Because divorce is out of the question. It's unethical, an abomination in some places.

The same society that pressures you into marriage, will be first to crucify you if you ever bring up the issue of divorce. Therefore, you live in bondage... **Insert LIFE - The Movie, with eddie murphy and Martin Lawrence.

Society doesn't care what your mental state is, society does not want to know whether or not you have other plans for your life. All society expects the moment you've completed your schooling and have a job is to get married.

Society does not even care how good the job you have is, they don't want to know how much you are worth, whether you can or cannot afford to get married, which is another giant problem. Bringing children into the world to suffer.

To a more seemingly controversial issue now: Is marriage an absolute must? Or is it just another act of conforming with the 'system'??
Now, don't get me wrong, I am in no way insinuating that marriage is unnecessary, all I'm doing is proving that society has diluted the beauty of marriage. They've made it a do or die affair.
A single man at a ripe age is completely stigmatised, nobody cares what reason he has, infact to them, he has no business being single. Doesn't even matter if he's employed or not.

I've heard before that a wedding ring is the smallest handcuff ever made, but is it really? Should we continuously live with the notion that a marriage has to be a prison?

For how long do we continue to allow society to compel us into taking what most consider to be the most important decision in life, even when sometimes it's obvious that we lack mental readiness.

Another issue is shallow mindedness. For some strange reason, people, mostly women often intentionally refuse to allow their minds wander past their wedding day, all they think about is that specific day, how they want it to conform to the ideas that their brain had conceived. They look forward to their wedding DAY, rather than to their marriage LIFE.

Therefore when the lifetime journey regarded as marriage begins, they obviously aren't ready so, **insert chaos.

Life is better enjoyed than endured. Don't let society pressure you into doing anything, life is too short.

Again, marriage is a good thing, obviously. God tells us that. But God doesn't specify a time for you to marry. And I'm also pretty sure that God does not want you to suffer in marriage, he made it a beautiful place, a happy place.
Don't endure it, enjoy it.

Once again, not a marriage counsellor, but we all need to come together to change the mindset and expectations of society.

Thank you for taking your time to read my rant.

Till next time,, Keep dreaming!!


o.j said...

i don't agree. When u encounta problems in marriage you should work to solve them. Not get out.

Anonymous said...

Well said, I like that where u said most women look forward to the wedding not the marriage. Its true

Juliet said...

Society cant stop. It has been lyk dat since d beginning

Anonymous said...

It's illiteracy. Illiteracy is what make ppl totally dependent on someone else

Anonymous said...

So, what's the right age?

champ king said...

I do not believe in getting out of marriages either, thus, the whole write up.

champ king said...

They do. Quite unfortunately.

champ king said...

That's true Juliet, and thats why we should render societal compulsion useless. By not listening.

champ king said...

Unfortunately it isn't. Cos even the most educated individuals fall for this too..

champ king said...

Well, I'd say age is inconsequential. It depends on mental maturity and readiness.

Aleshea said...

Preach. Living in the Southern half of the United States there are norms and traditions girls are "supposed" to follow. Marriage at an early age is one of them and it annoys me to no end. Most are not ready and it shows by all the failed marriages in society

champ king said...

True. Unfortunately, the statistic for failed marriage will continue to increase.